Hi, this is my sad story. I have led a tragic life, filled with the pain of 7 years of lost time. I would like to know if time travelling is possible, so I can go back in time to prevent the mistakes from happening that will make me the person in the worst possible situation ever. I would like to know all the technical details, like is an alternate reality created?, because I will miss my parents. I will give an instance of what I feel is a problem with time travel. Why I feel it should be essentially impossible, but I am to learn from a website, that the energies of this unmanifested universe outside our own allows for the ease of its possibility. I am thinking of the emotional and spiritual state of a person during his past sequence, and his present state of being at the now, howit differs, and how there might be no reconciliation. For I am much bereft of any level of emotional capacity, spiritual and mental strength, compared especially to the joy of my youthful days, before crisis. Knowing at any level that it might be possible to go back in time to undo the damage I unwittingly did to myself by a horrid guru, would give me hope immeasurable. Please, help me, and here, written word for sincere, heartbreaking word, is my story:
From a young age, I had a very strong attraction for God. Every moment was a verse with Him, many thanks and love and gratitude given freely to Him. He loved me, I was His child. I always chose the higher path, and was special in the sense of my worldview; I saw the world differently from other people, looked towards the Greater Good, for the little nuances that go unnoticed, the details that coloured the beauty of life, a love for purity and the higher virtues and brimming with a great spark of ambition, set out with my life on fire. All this was to be extinguished with time. As I grew up, I was guided by my inner authority, and a startling intellect, that saw details that nobody else noticed, and that was how I was able to realise God through logic. Even that is gone now, because I have suffered brain damage from my entrance into the mental hospital five times. I met a guru at 17, J1 of Junior College, and we became acquainted. He and me and talked about a great many things, and I wanted to be initiated by him. He acknowledged he wished to help me, but he said it would come with a price. He said that I would have to pay him, and with common sense I said I had not much. I managed to convince him to teach me for free, and so he brought me to a bookstore, and told me to read certain select books about Islam. I was to become a Muslim, even though that was against my taste. But since I am ever objective, I took it into my understanding that perhaps Islam is the way, so I should follow as well. At the end of the year, I still had not read the books, and the guru had left Junior College. He was the year above me. I spoke with him over MSN, and he scolded me, saying until I entered army and be a man then I would be able to face him. I took it in my stride, and dedicated that entire year remaining to the pursuit of Truth and God. I purposely separated myself from the rest of the class, by placing an empty chair between me and the rest of them. Then in deep thought I probed about God. I grew, pushing onwards towards the goal. The guru talked to me another time over MSN. He taught me a meditation which I did at night, according to his instructions, and I was seeded with bad blood by demons. This altered my perception of the world around me, in insidious, subtle ways. Then in the face of the pressing personal crisis of the A'levels, my Kundalini awakened. It rose through my spinal column during the Catholic school retreat, and it burst from the crown of my head, and I felt a sharp cutting force within my head. It was painful, but it faded away quickly enough and the pain with it. I was brimming with a new force, having my Kundalini awakened, I was empowered, and at first, I didn't know what to make of it, because it was so subtle. I told the guru that all of a sudden I was feeling very confident, and he said what I was describing is called Kundalini, a process in which the negative energy channels are unblocked. I went about the business of my school life, continuing with this newfound impetus, the search and seeking of Truth and God. I still had some character flaws within me, after all, you are talking about a boy who doesn't socialise at all throughout his teenagehood, and spend his time in isolation thinking deep topics, with a wandering imagination that took on all manner of topics, no matter how controversial or far-reaching. It was truly miraculous, in reflection, how I ascended into God-realisation. I had all sorts of subtle inner obstacles that could only be eradicated with a very determined will, a pure heart, and a bit of luck and skill. I overcame a lot within a short period of time, actions and deeds done that will go unrecorded for time immemorial, given perhaps their personal nature. But I became Enlightened. The field was brought to a new level. Little did my class know, quiet and weak-looking me was far in advance of them. In second thought, it was because I was awakened with the Kundalini that I took such gambles with my progress, and there was quite a few taken. I was walking a thin line. During one of my chance encounters with the guru online, I wanted to ask him, to help me secure my life as it stood now, with whatever advice, whatever blessings he could give, so that I would not lose everything, given how precarious the situation was. But I didn't, thinking it was alright, just let everything turned out how it was meant to. The people in my class didn't take too kindly to my development. They noticed it, and they challenged it.
It all ended one day, when I as the class monitor was to lead the class in making a Teacher's Day card. I went up to the front of the class, and this guy who hated me, and who was a domineering fellow, that though I admit have strong willpower and is a natural leader, just got up and left me standing like a fool in front of the class, saying he had things to do. The rest of the class who were unhappy with me, did the same thing to me, taking up cues to leave me there like a fool. Because all along in my realisation that logic can bring you to the realisation of God, I had great expectations of myself, dreaming daring dreams of going to the Atheistic West and confronting them with the Truth I have realised. All this fell along with how I thought of myself, and the constant thoughts I held in my mind. There was a meaning to life then, and in the momentum of things, all of life was so blissfully perfect. But then, I couldn't even handle a class of 18 year olds, how was I fit to talk to the rest of the world about this? It was too crushing for me. At this point of rejection, my energy channels started to close, and I was in great physical pain. As I was at home, I decided on a way out, I would seize the opportunity to turn the tables by producing a card. I went to school in a haze of pain. And as you know, being confronted by the busy and challenging conditions of a work environment, your natural drives will kick in, and I momentarily overcame the haze of pain I was in. In that moment of higher awareness, I realised the great mistake and situation I was in, and that a part of me in the realisation that I should save the situation by taking the helm again and leading the class to a resolution took over me, but I knew then it would never be the same again. I wanted it to be perfect so much, so much, since my entire life was perfect up till that point. It didn't matter what other people thought of me, because I alone knew myself better than any other, so despite any of the injustices I faced, I could still tide it over. But now it was over, and in my desire for perfection, I rejected the Kundalini, and God's promptings to take control of the situation. In His anger, He cracked the tree outside my classroom at that very moment. It stands now repaired, but you can see that it is repaired. And the pain came in again. Seeking straight A's for the A'levels, what caused the personal crisis, was now over, given the pained conditions I was in. Just to note, the bad blood of the demonic energy played some effect in altering my views about continuing the fight, if it hadn't been in me, I wouldn't have given up so easily and stayed true to course.
I did poorly for the A'levels. I was shattered, completely ruined by the hands of Fate. Even though I had realised God formerly, my body only knew exquisite pain. I approached the guru after my Economics exam, knowing that I would do badly, seeking help and redress. It is time to carry on what should have been settled between us what seemed like so long ago. It went on fine again, this time, the guru wanted me to read certain other books. He wanted to lay the foundation first, for he said the foundation must be strong, we can't be building castles in the air. I failed to read the books a second time, and because of misbehaviour, ended up in the detention barracks. That's when the attacks came. When I was in the detention cell, all of a sudden an uproarious noise would erupt from every direction and bombard me. It was accompanied with a force that seemed to cut into me and remove me from security. I was being psychically attacked by demons. I ended up diagnosed with schizophrenia, in the most unjust part of the medical system, the system of mental institutions. It wasn't a mental problem of course, but a spiritual issue. I became a clerk, and working as a clerk in the army was the most boring job in the world. The attacks came back, and the people there, instead of helping me, laughed at me, and treated me like veritable shiet. I was constantly laughed at on a daily basis, and had no true way of helping myself. Besides, the dark blood of the demons in me prevented me from truly defending myself.
From a young age, I had a very strong attraction for God. Every moment was a verse with Him, many thanks and love and gratitude given freely to Him. He loved me, I was His child. I always chose the higher path, and was special in the sense of my worldview; I saw the world differently from other people, looked towards the Greater Good, for the little nuances that go unnoticed, the details that coloured the beauty of life, a love for purity and the higher virtues and brimming with a great spark of ambition, set out with my life on fire. All this was to be extinguished with time. As I grew up, I was guided by my inner authority, and a startling intellect, that saw details that nobody else noticed, and that was how I was able to realise God through logic. Even that is gone now, because I have suffered brain damage from my entrance into the mental hospital five times. I met a guru at 17, J1 of Junior College, and we became acquainted. He and me and talked about a great many things, and I wanted to be initiated by him. He acknowledged he wished to help me, but he said it would come with a price. He said that I would have to pay him, and with common sense I said I had not much. I managed to convince him to teach me for free, and so he brought me to a bookstore, and told me to read certain select books about Islam. I was to become a Muslim, even though that was against my taste. But since I am ever objective, I took it into my understanding that perhaps Islam is the way, so I should follow as well. At the end of the year, I still had not read the books, and the guru had left Junior College. He was the year above me. I spoke with him over MSN, and he scolded me, saying until I entered army and be a man then I would be able to face him. I took it in my stride, and dedicated that entire year remaining to the pursuit of Truth and God. I purposely separated myself from the rest of the class, by placing an empty chair between me and the rest of them. Then in deep thought I probed about God. I grew, pushing onwards towards the goal. The guru talked to me another time over MSN. He taught me a meditation which I did at night, according to his instructions, and I was seeded with bad blood by demons. This altered my perception of the world around me, in insidious, subtle ways. Then in the face of the pressing personal crisis of the A'levels, my Kundalini awakened. It rose through my spinal column during the Catholic school retreat, and it burst from the crown of my head, and I felt a sharp cutting force within my head. It was painful, but it faded away quickly enough and the pain with it. I was brimming with a new force, having my Kundalini awakened, I was empowered, and at first, I didn't know what to make of it, because it was so subtle. I told the guru that all of a sudden I was feeling very confident, and he said what I was describing is called Kundalini, a process in which the negative energy channels are unblocked. I went about the business of my school life, continuing with this newfound impetus, the search and seeking of Truth and God. I still had some character flaws within me, after all, you are talking about a boy who doesn't socialise at all throughout his teenagehood, and spend his time in isolation thinking deep topics, with a wandering imagination that took on all manner of topics, no matter how controversial or far-reaching. It was truly miraculous, in reflection, how I ascended into God-realisation. I had all sorts of subtle inner obstacles that could only be eradicated with a very determined will, a pure heart, and a bit of luck and skill. I overcame a lot within a short period of time, actions and deeds done that will go unrecorded for time immemorial, given perhaps their personal nature. But I became Enlightened. The field was brought to a new level. Little did my class know, quiet and weak-looking me was far in advance of them. In second thought, it was because I was awakened with the Kundalini that I took such gambles with my progress, and there was quite a few taken. I was walking a thin line. During one of my chance encounters with the guru online, I wanted to ask him, to help me secure my life as it stood now, with whatever advice, whatever blessings he could give, so that I would not lose everything, given how precarious the situation was. But I didn't, thinking it was alright, just let everything turned out how it was meant to. The people in my class didn't take too kindly to my development. They noticed it, and they challenged it.
It all ended one day, when I as the class monitor was to lead the class in making a Teacher's Day card. I went up to the front of the class, and this guy who hated me, and who was a domineering fellow, that though I admit have strong willpower and is a natural leader, just got up and left me standing like a fool in front of the class, saying he had things to do. The rest of the class who were unhappy with me, did the same thing to me, taking up cues to leave me there like a fool. Because all along in my realisation that logic can bring you to the realisation of God, I had great expectations of myself, dreaming daring dreams of going to the Atheistic West and confronting them with the Truth I have realised. All this fell along with how I thought of myself, and the constant thoughts I held in my mind. There was a meaning to life then, and in the momentum of things, all of life was so blissfully perfect. But then, I couldn't even handle a class of 18 year olds, how was I fit to talk to the rest of the world about this? It was too crushing for me. At this point of rejection, my energy channels started to close, and I was in great physical pain. As I was at home, I decided on a way out, I would seize the opportunity to turn the tables by producing a card. I went to school in a haze of pain. And as you know, being confronted by the busy and challenging conditions of a work environment, your natural drives will kick in, and I momentarily overcame the haze of pain I was in. In that moment of higher awareness, I realised the great mistake and situation I was in, and that a part of me in the realisation that I should save the situation by taking the helm again and leading the class to a resolution took over me, but I knew then it would never be the same again. I wanted it to be perfect so much, so much, since my entire life was perfect up till that point. It didn't matter what other people thought of me, because I alone knew myself better than any other, so despite any of the injustices I faced, I could still tide it over. But now it was over, and in my desire for perfection, I rejected the Kundalini, and God's promptings to take control of the situation. In His anger, He cracked the tree outside my classroom at that very moment. It stands now repaired, but you can see that it is repaired. And the pain came in again. Seeking straight A's for the A'levels, what caused the personal crisis, was now over, given the pained conditions I was in. Just to note, the bad blood of the demonic energy played some effect in altering my views about continuing the fight, if it hadn't been in me, I wouldn't have given up so easily and stayed true to course.
I did poorly for the A'levels. I was shattered, completely ruined by the hands of Fate. Even though I had realised God formerly, my body only knew exquisite pain. I approached the guru after my Economics exam, knowing that I would do badly, seeking help and redress. It is time to carry on what should have been settled between us what seemed like so long ago. It went on fine again, this time, the guru wanted me to read certain other books. He wanted to lay the foundation first, for he said the foundation must be strong, we can't be building castles in the air. I failed to read the books a second time, and because of misbehaviour, ended up in the detention barracks. That's when the attacks came. When I was in the detention cell, all of a sudden an uproarious noise would erupt from every direction and bombard me. It was accompanied with a force that seemed to cut into me and remove me from security. I was being psychically attacked by demons. I ended up diagnosed with schizophrenia, in the most unjust part of the medical system, the system of mental institutions. It wasn't a mental problem of course, but a spiritual issue. I became a clerk, and working as a clerk in the army was the most boring job in the world. The attacks came back, and the people there, instead of helping me, laughed at me, and treated me like veritable shiet. I was constantly laughed at on a daily basis, and had no true way of helping myself. Besides, the dark blood of the demons in me prevented me from truly defending myself.
