Time Traveler talks about Green Power Rally

[Vanessa]

This is my 2nd, exclusive interview with Captain Ozone – the real-life superhero who claims to be a time traveler from the year 2039. This 2nd interview was done via shortwave radio and is mainly about the Captain’s Green Power Rally . If you wish to read my 1st interview with Captain Ozone, go to web page.

Vanessa Jefferson: “What exactly is Green Power Rally going to be protesting, Captain?”

Captain Ozone: “Green Power Rally is not going to protest against anything actually. It’s not going to publicly attack the fossil fuel or nuclear power industry, nor is it going to bash any political figures or parties. It’s going to be an optimistic, peaceful march for pollution-free, renewable energy.”

VJ: “Where is your Green Power Rally going to take place?”

CO: “Environmental Media Northwest and I are organizing thousands of people to march in New York City, Miami, Los Angeles and Seattle on September 12th this year.”

VJ: “Can I participate in this march?”

CO: “Anyone can. We’re looking for thousands of demonstrators at Green Power Rally to carry signs and banners advocating solar, wind, hydro, geothermal and hydrogen power – everything that’s zero-emissions.”

VJ: “Has anyone ever done this in America before?”

CO: “This event will be the very first peaceful demonstration of its kind in America, raising public awareness and support for green power all over the nation – perhaps all over the world.”

VJ: “All over the world?”

CO: “Well, we’re quite confident that the press will show up to this event. Should that be the case, Green Power Rally might have a good chance of getting international media coverage.”

VJ: “Are you going to march at this rally as well, Captain?”

CO: “Yes, I am, but I won’t be dressed in my uniform. I’ll be wearing plain clothes or a different costume.”

VJ: “Why?”

CO: “If I went to this rally dressed as Captain Ozone, I would probably get mauled or some people might grab me and try to pull my cowl off. A lot of people are curious to know who I am, Vanessa, especially the press. Ha-ha. Incidentally, I’m also encouraging Green Power Rally’s demonstrators to show up in all sorts of costumes, which will attract attention even more.”

VJ: “That sounds like a lot of fun, Captain. Cool. What else have you done to help promote green power?”

CO: “Well, since 1989 I have been advocating the benefits of pollution-free, hydrogen fuel. I started out by making pro-hydrogen fuel posters and posting them at universities.

I also wrote letters about the merits of hydrogen fuel to hundreds of university professors and have sent letters to regional power companies urging them to convert to solar, wind and geothermal power.”

VJ: “What about your public service announcements that you’re famous for? Were any of them about green power?”

CO: “Yes, I co-produced and starred in a pro-hydrogen fuel PSA that was televised in 1998 – back when hydrogen fuel was merely an esoteric area under discussion. This was the very first television PSA to air in the United States and Canada that highlighted the benefits of hydrogen fuel, and it was written by two eighth-grade school girls who starred in the PSA with me.

I also helped produce television PSAs through EMNW’s Youth Ecology Program on geothermal power and vegetable oil fuels, or biofuels.”

VJ: “You’ve been very involved with Environmental Media Northwest (EMNW) for quite some time now. How did that involvement come about?”

CO: “I met Mike Schutte, the Executive Director of EMNW, and his brother Matt, the Art Director of EMNW, in a night club while playing a game of pool in the spring of 1989. Michael and Matt liked Stoli vodka, just like me, and they were also amused by my practical jokes.

After I kicked their butts at the pool table, we sat down and talked over a few drinks. I liked what they had planned to do with EMNW, especially their pioneering aspiration to raise public awareness and support for green power sources that were practically unheard of at the time. Seeing that these guys were prepared to boldly go off the beaten path, which I am well-known for, I offered to help them out.

At first Mike and Matt thought I was offering to donate money to EMNW, but after we hopped to another club and had a couple more drinks, I felt we were comfy enough for me to speak in confidence to them about me being a futuristic time traveler. Well, as you can already guess, they thought I was off my rocker.”

VJ: “Yeah, I could see that.” (giggling)

CO: “A few days later we met up again, this time without the Stoli, and I showed them my uniform along with some other items to prove that I wasn't a lunatic. Once Mike and Matt ran out of cynical questions and their disbelief wore off, they let me join forces with EMNW as a spokesman and co-producer.”

VJ: “And that was it?”

CO: “No, I also co-founded EMNW's Youth Ecology Program, which is a hands-on workshop that enables school kids to write, direct and star in their own television PSAs that promote renewable energy.”

VJ: “What do you like most about EMNW? What separates EMNW from other environmental organizations?”

CO: “Well, EMNW is very optimistic. They’re not all about doom and gloom and scare tactics, like most other environmental organizations are known for. They’ve never publicly condemned the coal, petroleum and nuclear power industries, or any large corporations. They're mission is to solely promote constructive alternatives. Just like me, EMNW believes in the Chinese proverb: "Better to Light a Candle than Curse the Darkness."

Environmental Media Northwest is also the hippest environmental group on the face of the Earth – even more hip than Greenpeace.”

VJ: “What’s so hip about EMNW?”

CO: “Can you think of another environmental group that has a time traveler from the future as their spokesman?” (laughing)

VJ: (laughing) “No, I can’t. Last time I interviewed you five years ago, you refused to divulge any information about yourself being a time traveler. Why was that?”

CO: “Let’s see…if memory serves, I asked you then if you believed that I was a time traveler, and you said no.”

VJ: “I see. Okay, well, assuming that I do believe you’re a time traveler, what is going to happen in the future as far as green power goes? Do things get better in the future?”

CO: “Well, let’s see…the United States was no longer the first world power by the 2030's due to excessive outsourcing of major industries. This had nothing to do with our lack of renewable energy sources, but I thought this should be brought to everyone’s attention.

Today, and into the 2030's, very little had been accomplished worldwide to build a pollution-free, renewable energy infrastructure. Since fossil fuels were still the cheapest and most profitable power sources, most of the world felt no incentive to build a zero-emissions economy.

Carbon dioxide – the primary greenhouse gas from fossil fuels that's believed to cause global warming – was reduced in the atmosphere through a carbon capture and storage technique known as carbon sequestration.”

VJ: “Carbon sequestration – can you explain how that works, Captain?”

CO: “Well, It involves capturing carbon dioxide from factories and power plants and injecting it underground or in the ocean floor where it’s presumed to be stored permanently.”

VJ: “I see. Carry on.”

CO: “Anyway, global warming never occurred in the 2030's despite today's popular belief that it would, but many scientists and ecologists were worried that enormous earthquakes would cause megatons of captured carbon dioxide to leak from where it was stored and escape into the atmosphere, causing sudden climate change.

When petroleum began to dwindle in supply by the late 2030’s, it shot sky high in price, triggering a world war over control of several oil fields situated in two countries.”

VJ: “World war? Between what nations?”

CO: “I cannot identify the nations that were involved in this world war because it will only incite suspicion, fear and hatred between these nations at present. For the same reason, I cannot identify the two countries the petroleum was situated in that these nations were warring over. Furthermore, a space-time continuum, sticky situation could very well occur if I were to identify these nations, or even make known who was President of the United States during the war.

If all our nations had become energy self-sufficient by the 2030's through solar, wind, hydro, geothermal and hydrogen power, this war could clearly have been avoided. Instead, our nations relied on the most profitable energy sources and swept their greenhouse gases under the carpet so to speak.”

VJ: “I see. Very intriguing. What needs to be done to prevent this world war from occurring?”

CO: “Well, to avert the Petroleum Wars, we must start building a nationwide, renewable energy infrastructure immediately and have it completed within the next 20 years. This commitment will cost the world approximately a half trillion dollars or more over the next two decades, but we have no choice – either Green Power, or World War III.

We must also raise public awareness towards the potential hazards of carbon sequestration. The fossil fuel industry, power companies, and the automotive industry are currently throwing away billions of dollars on the research and development of carbon sequestration. Fossil fuels are more cost-effective than renewable energy sources – in the short-term, that is to say – and that’s why these industries are investing in carbon sequestration schemes.”

VJ: “And your mission as a futuristic time traveler is to stop this world war from occurring?”

CO: “That is correct, Vanessa. I thought I’d also mention that I originally brought my holopedia here from the year 2039 which had schematics of future designs of solar, wind, hydro, geothermal and hydrogen power technologies. My mission was to give these futuristic schematics to scientist all over the world that are involved in the research and development of these technologies. Unfortunately, my holopedia’s memory was wiped clean when I passed through some type of electromagnetic storm while traveling through time.”

VJ: “What’s a holopedia?”

CO: “I was afraid you’d ask that. I’ll try to describe it in layman’s terms the best I can. A holopedia is a palm-held computer from the 2030’s that can see, hear and carry on intelligent conversations with you. It has encyclopedic, flip-DRIP memory and is programmed to be either male or female and each individual one comes with its own personality.”

VJ: “What’s flip-DRIP memory?”

CO: “The simplest way I can explain flip-DRIP memory is that it’s not digital memory. Binary code became obsolete in the 2030’s and was replaced by holographic synaptic signal, which works very much like the synapse in the human brain.”

VJ: “Where is your holopedia now, Captain?”

CO: “I clumsily dropped it in the middle of Lake Samish while fishing in 1990.”

VJ: “Hmm…I must say that was rather clumsy of you!”

CO: “Well, it was a cold wintry day and I had a little Stoli buzz going to keep me warm, if you know what I mean.” (laughing)

VJ: (laughing) “I understand. Hmm. How did your time traveling toilet come about? Who created it?”

CO: “Questions about my time latrine are asked more than any others, and are second only to inquiries about my g-string.” (laughing)

VJ: “Oh, please!”

CO: “In 2035, a satellite detected a metallic object of unknown origin on Mars. A robot probe was covertly sent to Mars and discovered the metallic object to be an alien toilet.

The toilet was retrieved to Earth and several months later was discovered to be a time machine created by human beings in the future. It was carbon dated to be 4,200 years old and believed to have been created around the year 6,200 A.D.”

VJ: “Why was your time machine created in the likeness of a toilet?”

CO: “That has remained a total mystery. Many people have speculated that the toilet design signified something in particular, but its significance has never been explained. Others reasoned its design was simply camouflage to make it appear as a common household fixture.

A theologian once told me that my time latrine traveling backwards through time with me seated on it was in fulfillment of prophecy in Revelation 20:11. I have to confess, the earth and heaven fled away when I passed through that electromagnetic storm, and there was no place found for me and my time latrine.”

VJ: (giggling) “And you expect people to believe all this?”

CO: “I quote Robert Ripley: Believe It, Or Not.”

VJ: “Okay. Let’s move on to something more tangible. Why do you wear a g-string?”

CO: “My g-string enables me to think outside the sack. There's nothing magical or supernatural about this, it's purely psychosomatic.”

VJ: (giggling) “I like your g-string. It’s very manly!”

CO: (laughing) “Thank you.”

VJ: “Can you give me a short biography of Captain Ozone?”

CO: “Well, my parents and some of my siblings are alive somewhere in the United States at present, and I do not wish them to be disturbed, so this is all I will divulge for my biography:

I was born William James Ozone on April 7, 2011. I departed in uniform as “Captain Ozone” from Washington DC on March 17, 2039 and arrived at the Bellis Fair Mall in Bellingham, Washington on March 17, 1989.

My mission is to help save the human race from its ill-fated future. I am also a neurologist and a geneticist that is currently working with several other scientists on a classified project.

I enjoy camping, fishing and the great outdoors. I am an outstanding poker player as well as the oldest real-life superhero in the world.”

VJ: “Do you play poker for money?”

CO: “You bet your sweet bippy I play for money, Vanessa. I play high stakes too. I’ve complemented my income through my poker winnings since 1989. I even helped finance 1/3 of the production costs of Environmental Media Northwest’s “Save Our Wild Salmon” television and movie theatre PSAs from my winnings.”

VJ: “Is that right? That’s quite admirable of you. Is your poker playing done by Captain Ozone, or your alter-ego?”

CO: (chuckling) “If I were to casually waltz into a brick & mortar wearing my uniform, I'd have security all over me before you could say "royal flush" (laughing). Besides, managing a handful of cards while wearing a pair of blue gloves isn't easy.”

VJ: “Do you play Texas Hold 'Em, or something else?”

CO: “Texas Hold 'Em and Omaha Hi Lo are fine by me if there's no limit, but I prefer to play Seven Card Stud or Seven Hi Lo.

I can sense when Lady Luck is with me or when she's on vacation. Using the poker-parlance of today, my playing style is more like a rounder than a grinder. What I enjoy most is winning a large pot with a hand full of nothing. I'm an expert bluffer, and I don't rely on any obvious coffee housing techniques. Paul Newman was being truthful when he said, "sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.""

VJ: “What sort of other work have you done since 1989, Captain?”

CO: “Since my debut as Captain Ozone, I have worked under the table at several different jobs. I bartended for eleven years in Washington State and I even drove an ice cream truck part-time to make a few extra bucks.”

VJ: (giggling) “Ice cream truck? How did that go?”

CO: “I made very little money at it, but it was a blast – even with that annoying little ditty from the movie “The Sting” playing over and over all day long. I enjoy kids, probably because I’ve never had any of my own. I guess that’s one reason why I co-founded the Youth Ecology Program – to make up for not fathering any children.”

VJ: “I think you’ve done very well for not being a parent.”

CO: “Well, thank you, Vanessa. I need to hear that once in a while.”

VJ: “Has anyone in the last 20 years seen you outside of your uniform?”

CO: “Michael and Matt Schutte and two confidants here in Ireland are the only souls who have seen me with my cowl removed. All four have taken a sworn oath not to divulge my identity to anyone.”

VJ: “That’s it? No one else knows what Captain Ozone looks like?”

CO: “Bear in mind that I have friends, co-workers, and a girlfriend who see me on a daily basis outside of uniform, but they don't know I am Captain Ozone. And they know me by a name other than William James Ozone.

I have fake ID, no social security number, and I work under the table. My voice has been electronically disguised in my television and movie theatre PSAs as well as my video documentary. My voice that you’re hearing right now over shortwave radio is being disguised as well.

Mugh-hugh-hugh-hughhhh! You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!” (laughing)

VJ: (laughing) “Are you a lone wolf by nature, or out of privacy concerns?”

CO: “Since the time I donned the uniform and took on the task of being Captain Ozone, my social life has changed completely for obvious reasons. Some of my friends and family I once knew are still here, but they don't know me today because I haven't been born yet. Because of the nature of my mission, I am forced to adopt an entirely different social life.

My social circle is much smaller than it once was, and I am very careful about choosing my friends and associates. For the most part, I am attracted to people who are not only broadminded, freethinking individuals, but who are also devoting their time to teaching others how to become revolutionary agents of change.

In the uniform, I can't afford to be anything but a lone wolf. There are many powerful people who would love to get their hands on me. Some may want to silence me, while others might want to use my knowledge of future events for their own personal gain.”

VJ: “Who would want to silence you?”

CO: “In 1992, one night when I was driving from Seattle to Bellingham Washington, someone drove past me and put a 36-caliber bullet through my door, missing me by just a few inches. It could have been a random, gang-related, drive-by shooting, or it could have been a contract put out on me. I was publicly advocating hydrogen fuel at the time, so it's quite possible that some oil moguls wanted me dead.

A couple of people, and even an ecological organization, have tried to sabotage my mission and slander me. Most ecological organizations do not like my unorthodox approach to environmentalism.”

VJ: “That’s pretty creepy. Well, I’ve run out of questions, Captain. Oh, wait – I’ve got another question, okay. Why did you move to Ireland five years ago?”

CO: “Well, I’m half Irish and I’ve always wanted to live in Ireland. I really dig the off-beat Irish sense of humor here and I just love redheads. I get my pranks from my Irish mother, you know.” (laughing)

VJ: “What was one of the best pranks you’ve ever pulled?”

CO: “Let’s see…I slipped a raw cow-tongue in Environmental Media Northwest’s P.O. Box once. Mike Schutte opened the box, reached in without looking, grabbed the raw cow-tongue and practically had a heart attack!” (laughing)

VJ: “Oh, gross! I’m glad you moved to the UK, buddy! (laughing) Is there anything more you wish to say about Green Power Rally?”

CO: “Yes, I’d like to say a few things real quick before you go, Vanessa.”

VJ: “Fire away.”

CO: “One: renewable energy can stop wars over limited supplies of foreign oil and make all nations energy self-sufficient.

Two: renewable energy can create millions of new industrial and scientific jobs – boosting our global economy.

Three: solar, wind, hydro, geothermal and hydrogen power are all renewable, zero-emissions energy sources that will not cause climate change.

If you want to help raise public awareness and support for renewable energy far and wide, please dress up in costume and come to Green Power Rally and demonstrate. For more about this event, go to web page.

Also, If you wish to make a tax-deductible donation to a non-profit organization that's making a big difference on very little funds, go to Environmental Media Northwest's website at web page. Thank you.”

VJ: “Is that it?”

CO: “That’s it.”

VJ: “I have just one request for you, Captain…”

CO: “Shoot.”

VJ: “Heaven forbid, but if some diabolical oil barons do assassinate you, can I have your toilerang weapon?”

CO: “I thank you for your interest, Vanessa, but I’ve already willed my toilerang to the Youth Ecology Program. As you saw in the video documentary featuring me, the kids really dug it.”

To see a documentary in streaming video about Captain Ozone, click web page.

 

[My_Time]

VJ: “Why was your time machine created in the likeness of a toilet?”

CO: “That has remained a total mystery. Many people have speculated that the toilet design signified something in particular, but its significance has never been explained. Others reasoned its design was simply camouflage to make it appear as a common household fixture.

Amazing, my toilet looks exactly like that..time does seem to slow down when I'm on it! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/yum.gif

 

[Darby]

My vote: Move to "Fan Fiction"

 

[Doghead]

I always thought the Chron-O-John (tm) from Day of the Tentacle would make a reappearance. And here we are! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[KerrTexas]

My vote: Move to "Fan Fiction"

I second that vote !